I recently started going back through some of my old posts and oh man. Most of that crap is the rantings of an angsty teenager. Except I wasn't a teenager when I wrote it. Um, hi! EMBARRASSING.
I'd really like this website to be full of writing I can be proud of, whether the stories are funny or touching or sad or pointless, I don't want to be embarrassed by them. Ever since I made this realization about Growing The Fuck Up, I have really been trying to focus on the positive aspects of my life and that includes getting rid of all the self-pitying junk I've posted here in the past. Also, I think it's time I start taking myself a little less seriously. So, I'm going through all the old crap, deleting posts that are unsalvageable, and rewriting posts that I think can move from the Little Whiny Bitch category into the Could Possibly Make For An Interesting Story category. I've been at this for four and a half hours today (it's the weekend, give me a break) and so far I've made it through August 7, 2007. I've got a lot of work ahead of me.
This is where I will encourage you to take a look at some of the posts I've rewritten. I have yet to master the task of turning painful situations into funny stories, but I think I've been able to turn them from full-fledged pity parties into stories that are actually readable. If you have a minute to check them out, I'd love your thoughts. Some good examples of rewritten posts are here, here, here, and here, although I started at the beginning and have rewritten nearly everything I've ever posted, if only to get rid of the obnoxious over-use of the word 'like', exclamation points, ellipses and my apparent inability to know when to turn off the caps lock key.
Thanks for putting up with me you guys. It means a lot.
6 comments:
While i think that your positive approach to things is fantastic, I would also encourage you to be true to where you were at the time you wrote what you wrote. Its real. its like lucas going back and reshooting star wars nearly 30 years later. Yes he has more money and better technology, but does it necessarily make it better? I think the most important thing a person can do is recognize where they came from and appreciate where they were.
The pleasure is mine, I assure you. (Yet I do hope that you have not destroyed the posts you consider "embarrassing whining," because I agree w/ George.)
Awww, guys. Thank you for loving me even when I'm a hot mess. But let me just show you something. This is a post I recognized as a whiny piece of crap:
Nighttime Frosty stayed up TOO late last night. She has absolutely NO concern for Morningtime Frosty's wellbeing. I mean, she did the right thing when she left the bar at 11:30 p.m. with the intention of getting at least a little sleep for Morningtime Frosty's sake, but then she stayed up blogging until nearly 2! Naughty, naughty girl. And of course I'm the one paying the price.
So I walked into Dunkin' Donuts this morning (the one between my apartment and the subway as opposed to the one between the subway and my job - I don't go to that one anymore because the people who work there are SUCH bitches) and despite less than five hours sleep I put a smile on my face and sweetly ordered a large coffee with cream & sugar and eggs & cheese on an english muffin. Both items are on the menu. I didn't ask for either thing to be modified or prepared specially or anything. And the girl at the cash register sraight up rolled her eyes at me. She was fine when all I'd asked for was the coffee, but when I asked for the breakfast sandwich, she TOTALLY rolled her eyes at me! WTF????? I am SO FREAKING SICK of people in the service industry being Assholes. I go OUT of my freaking way to be Nice, Polite, Respectful, Courteous.... my parents raised me to act like a freaking considerate person... What the F&%$ is wrong with people that they can't act like freaking HUMANS???? Everyone seems to be a complete ASSHOLE in this city. Grrrr. I'm so frustrated that I can't even talk. Er, type. The only words I can think of right now are expletives. So, I went against EVERYTHING I believe in and I... get ready.... deep breathe... didn't leave a tip. (GASP!) I didn't. I'm sorry. No, fuck that. I'm NOT sorry. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I TIP SOMEONE WHO ROLLS THEIR EYES AT ME BECAUSE I AM NICELY ASKING THEM TO DO THE THING THEY ARE FUCKING BEING PAID TO DO????
SERIOUSLY. SERiously. (Breathe) Seriously.
K, normally I can just shrug this kind of thing off, but like I announced at the beginning of this post, Nighttime Frosty TOTALLY FUCKED me last night so I'm kinda irritable.
But that doesn't change the fact that People have COMPLETELY forgotten how to be NORMAL. AAAAGGGGGFRREEEAFSLKJLKJC LASKDJFLKSDAJF LASKJFLSKFJGRR"DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. (That was a typed out scream. In case you were wondering.)
And THIS is what I rewrote:
Nighttime Frosty stayed up too late last night. She has absolutely no concern for Morningtime Frosty's wellbeing. I mean, Nighttime Frosty did the right thing when she left the bar at 11:30 p.m. with the intention of getting at least a little sleep for Morningtime Frosty's sake, but then she stayed up writing until nearly 2! Naughty, naughty girl. And of course I'm the one paying the price.
I walked into Dunkin' Donuts this morning and despite less than five hours of sleep I managed put a smile on my face and pretend to be a nice person while I ordered the #4 special. I didn't ask for anything difficult, didn't want anything modified, just ordered the #4. And the girl at the cash register, whose name tag read 'Jesus', straight rolled her eyes at me. As if I'd just asked her to pick the lint out of my butthole. With her teeth. I bet Nighttime 'Jesus' kept her out really late too.
You've got to admit it. That is a HUGE improvement. The sentiment is still there, but now it doesn't make your eyes bleed when your read it.
fair enough!!
I am a total stranger who admires your writing. One day last year i noticed the favorites on my profile form links. I clicked on one and landed on your page. I know.....how random can you get? But your posts make me laugh and you can turn a clever phrase. Don't worry about rewriting your works. I do it all the time. My daughter calls it word vomit. Out comes all the words and later you save the best ones. I tried keeping a journal of daily thoughts without any revision but I hated reading it later. You sound very artistic. Some artists erupt and move on while others refine. Do what works. That fellow George is right about staying true to the moment so you don't embellish or make apologies and you are right about reflection. The buzzword used to be "personal growth" but there is probably a newer one. I hope you don't mind me reading your posts occasionally. If the thought is creepy don't hesitate to say so.
Steve-Daddy - Thank you! I think it is totally awesome that you read my posts. If I was uncomfortable with strangers reading my writing, I wouldn't post it on the interwebs. Thank you again. This comment pretty much made my day.
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