All Things Considered

There aren't enough pretty words to describe how comforting it was to be with my family this past week. Between the cousins, the aunts and uncles, my siblings and my parents, it was a four day love-fest. Jacob's wake was a joyful party with over two hundred guests. He would have loved it. Everyone laughed and drank and ate and told funny Jake-stories and there were lots of bear hugs. The kind of hugs that last so long they make Sibley cringe. There was some crying, but mostly people laughed. I hope that is how my family celebrates me when I'm gone. And I hope Sibley is uncomfortable. (Hi Sibley!)

In addition to all the hugging, eating, story telling and sneaking-of-sips-of-cheap-brandy, I spent several hours pouring over old family photos, flooding my little head with memories. I finished reading A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius and It Sucked and Then I cried, and then I read Super In The City and The Nanny Diaries. (Thanks, plane flights!) Oh! Also thanks to the plane flights, I visited not only Seattle and Los Angeles, but the Twin Cities, Phoenix, San Francisco and Charlotte, North Carolina. Not that I got to see much. But still. Except for the night Kitty told ghost stories and I had to sleep with all the lights on, I slept better than I had since March 6th. And when I arrived home, I was buried in love once again. Mike had filled each room of our tiny apartment with antique roses and orange lilies (my favorite). Thank God for my wonderful family.

Last night I dreamt about Jake. He was young - a teenager - healthy, gorgeous and laughing. He wanted to play hide-and-seek with me and so we played and we laughed and I couldn't get over how happy he looked. May he always be happy and laughing, wherever he is.