I have this vague memory of a time when strangers regularly smiled and said hello to each other in passing. It's difficult for me to imagine that I once lived in a time and place where people were generally polite to one another, but I think I remember a day when I suddenly realized that I'd stopped smiling and saying hello to people in passing. It feels incredibly unnatural to walk down the street and stare straight ahead as to avoid eye contact with strangers. It doesn't feel right at all to have so much human contact and yet, to completely ignore it. I don't like ignoring people. My natural impulse is to smile at everyone and wish them a good day. (Which, I admit, would get rather obnoxious if I actually gave into that impulse seeing as how I probably walk past 3,000 people a day in NYC.) Is that why no one says hello to each other? Because it would take too much effort?
At least once a day some smarmy jerk says "hello" or, usually, "hey, baby" to me, but not in a friendly way. Oh no. He says it in a "You're-nothing-but-a-piece-of-meat" kind of way. And because I ignore my impulse to say, "Hey, Pig!" in the same patronizing sing-song voice and instead decide to just keep walking and not acknowledge him at all, these guys almost always yell after me, "What, bitch? You can't say hello?" or something to that effect. By that point, my face is on fire. My stomach is in a knot. I clench my fists at my side so as not to flail out and take a swing at the asshole. Why should I say hello back? Don't even for a second tell me this guy is just trying to be nice. You know how I know these guys aren't just being nice? Because if they were, they'd be saying hello to everyone who walks by them. But they don't. I can see that this guy has ignored the other 178 people that walked past him in the few minutes before and after me. He only said hello to me. And it's clear by the tone of his voice that he does not have good intentions. He is not reaching out to a fellow human being. He knew before he opened his mouth that I'd either ignore him or tell him to fuck off. He was looking for a reaction worthy of a bigger reaction from him. He wants to be able to scream his head off at a little, tiny, innocent looking girl walking down the street alone. Why? I guess because it makes his pathetic, disgusting, crusty little dick hard. But even better than his oh-so-eloquent reaction to being ignored is that if I were to respond, perhaps saying "Hey, Pig!" he'd probably punch me in the face. Because that's what he really wants. He really wants a good excuse to punch a little girl in the face. If he can get me riled up enough to call him an asshole, then he can punch me in the face and act like he had good reason to. "Hey! Why'd you punch that girl in the face?" people would ask. And he'd reply, with an injured look on his fat face, "I said hello, I was trying to be friendly and not only does the bitch disrespect me by ignoring me, but then she calls me an asshole!" "Oh, well, then I guess the cunt deserved it."
This city is not helping to improve my feelings towards the human race.
3 comments:
Hey baby…………….. That was meant in the sincere loving actual greeting way, not to be mistaking for the derogatory man hungry horny creepy way. Ha-ha It was Nice to see you before you left…again even if it was for three seconds. It seems these days that we do pass each other in a non-confrontational no interactive way. That’s not a way to live. I, like you, like to smile and say hello to the random people that I pass on the street but I do find that as the years go by less and less people respond, notice or even care for a smile a nod or friendly hello or good morning. Maybe its cause I am no longer a cute young boy full of innocence and ignorance yet replaced by a young adult with a intimidating beard but still possessing the warm smile???? If that even makes sense? I agree with you Ish, when I was in NYC last month I did notice the lack of interaction between the thousands of people that I passed each day. I felt like I was the “weird” one or the odd man out for smiling at passers by. Some would look in response with confusion others just ignored me. People need to say hello with a sincere smile and gleam in their eye more often. Don’t let the 10 or 20 people that ignore you ruin it for the other thousand you pass a day. Smile at them all say hello when given the chance hold a door for someone. One little thing can make a day for someone else. Be kind hearted and open minded. Not everyone will respond but the ones that do make it worth while.
Oh yeah and tell those guys that cat call you to fuck off. Ha-ha
All my love
Ryan Hunter
OK... I LOVED reading this post because all good-looking or even semi-good looking women in NYC deal with this ALL the time! You're being a VERY GOOD GIRL by not responding to these cat-calls. Because I, in true New Yorker style, always made sure those fuckers knew they messed with the wrong girl that day! :) Call me crazy... I think of it as fearless. And I know they sense that in me and would never even THINK to punch me in the face because they wouldn't hit me... I'd hit them first! :) The best part is, they never expect it from me by looking at me. :) Yeah, after about a year of "Hey baby", "Hey Mammi", hisses, whistles and kissing sounds, I about had it! So, just so long as your ready for their response and if you maybe feel like putting one of these dickless freaks in their place (who probably have wife's back at home cooking their dinner, mind you), I fully support you and look forward to hearing about your experience! :) It can be quite liberating, actually. :)
I almost put my fist in someone's window once--called my mom and told her about that one! I don't know what it is about New York City that does it to me, but I do act very strong. My ex- once told me to stop it because he was worried about me. But I guess it's just in my nature to stand up for myself and other women, too, like me and hope that if I can make a difference, it will make a difference for someone else not as strong as me in the same situation. And hey, I'm still in one piece! :)
Love and miss you,
Michelle
Uh - yeah. Remember when I was at Hollywood and Highland underground parking that night and those guys were calling out to me and I gave a slight smile and then they followed me threatening to smack the freckles off my face? Fucking douche bags. Like - seriously...there is no way to respond or not respond. You are totally effed either way. So that is when you remove your 4" stiletto and embed it in their eye socket.
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