Me: If we had a son, would you want to circumcise him?
Him: I don't know. I've never thought about it. ... ... ... Why? Do you have strong feelings about it?
Me: Not really. I kind of don't want to do it because I'm afraid of the open wound. Wounded infant penis is scary.
Him: It's no big deal.
Me: And what if the doctor's knife slips? And cuts it off?
Him: That's not going to happen.
Me: But then I do want to do it because I'm worried he'll get made fun of if we don't.
Him: That's ridiculous. Who would make fun of him?
Me: Immature, uninformed teenage girls. Or boys. Whichever. They're both vicious.
Him: Our son is not going to be showing his penis to girls or boys when he's in high school.
Me: Dude. Of course he is.
Him: He is not.
Me: Well, he won't be waving it around, but he's going to be getting handjobs and stuff.
Him: No, he's not.
Me: Don't you want our son to be a healthy teenage boy?
Him: Healthy teenage boys don't run around getting handjobs.
Me: (A sideways look.) Um... he'll be a freak with a capital 'F' if he makes it through his senior year without getting a handjob.
Him: ... ... ...
Me: Oh my god.
Him: I'm done talking to you.
Me: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
Him: I'm leaving the room now.
Me: But you had girlfriends! How did you - ?
Him: We never had this conversation.
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9 comments:
Circumcision actually has medical benefits and helps prevent infection. Actually, I think that's the only medical benefit, but I don't feel like Googling it.
Anyways, LOL.
You should try that conversation again using "college" and "hummer" and see what kind of results you get.
I heart Mike.
First off, what about showering in Gym? Of Course other boys will see it - how could they not? Second, if it's Large enough, he may well wave it around. I heard a story about a guy with freckles, and .... never mind. Except he waved it around a lot, because it resembled a giraffe's neck. As a matter of fact, he took it out at every party, instead of wearing a lamp shade on his head.
Mike might have borrowed one of your comments from the last post, i.e. "I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Maybe you'll have a girl, and not have to deal with this.
I will second your husband's comment that it's no big deal. My male baby had plenty of pain meds and healed within a day or so. (He was an early nineties model, when we were all barbarians and just went ahead with it.) No crying or hating Mummy. No complications or disfigurement. Really. And I was even something of an earth mother—cloth diapers, nursing for over a year, that sort of thing.
I have to also add that with baby things, you never really know how you will react to things until you actually get to that point in your life. But you are smart to have these conversations early. Before we even got married,I made my husband take the queer friendly pledge, that we would love our gay child should he/she fall into that 10 percent, and that we would be the supportive parents welcoming any and all partners home for the holidays.
I heart Tracy.
I heart all you guys. And girls.
We didn't circumcise our son. He's twelve now, and he's had absolutely no problems so far. I've read that about 50% of American boys are not circumcised these days, so it's probably not a social stigma anymore. And they can avoid infection by rinsing (without soap) the area that's under the foreskin regularly. However, they don't need to forcibly retract the foreskin. They should gently pull it back to the point of resistance, and always return it to its original position afterward.
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