Stay the hell off the freeways during commuter times! I think that it is great that you are here, really I do. Everyone should see L.A. at some point. Hollywood Boulevard, Sunset Strip, Disneyland...well...that is Anaheim, but oh well. It is all great, I know. And I understand that you want to "get a head start" and "take advantage of the day". But if you don't know where you are going, Please, for the love of all good things, don't get on that freeway until at least 10:00 AM. We Los Angeleans KNOW where we are going. We know what lane to be in at all times. We know exactly where our exits are. We know what the traffic should be doing at every minute of the day. You, you tourist, DON'T. I understand that in every other part of this country (except Texas) 65 mph might be considered a bit faster than the norm. DEAL WITH IT. If you cut me off again going a cool 50, I will hunt you down and slash the tires of your compact rental car. If you signal left and jolt into the right lane in front of me again, I will stop you fast and rip you out of that driver's seat. This one I don't understand at all; rental car or not, isn't the turn indicator a standard down=left, up=right? MORON.
OH! And one for the spammers who insist on replying to posts: stop peddling your shit on my blog. I don't need to meet some 90 year old psycho who claims he is 26, asks me for coffee, then they find pieces of me scattered througout the Hollywood Hills. Also, it is pretty damn obvious that I don't know you when you offer me, a very small 85 pound person, weight-loss advice. I've got enough of that to share. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
I am sorry, I don't know what has come over me. My brain is fried from this heat. I will be happier tomorrow. I promise. Don't go away! I really can be a very positive, happy person. You'll see.
Monday, January 21, 2008
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7 comments:
Im confused, i thought you lived in new york. I better not find out you been moonlighting in los angeles
Actually, I didn't write this. This is a blog Dopey posted in like, 2005 or something. I just copied and pasted it into my blog for fun. I was in the mood for some good ol' fashioned plagiarism. Plus, I'm wondering if she'll recognize it. Tee hee.
OHMYGOODNESS! I just got so effing confused! That is soooo funny! I looooove it! Classic Dopey Ranting!!! Laughing so hard!!!
Does that mean you did not recognize it at first? Ha. That's funny. ;-)
No I totally recognized it at the first sentence! I thought there must have been some odd blogspot mishap that started reposting old posts on other's blogs or something...and coincidentally that mine ended up on yours! I am STILL laughing!
I can't wait to be behind her for her first metrocard swipe.
And that is why I have you loverlies to show me the ropes and not piss off the locals! TOMORROW PEEPS! I am truly terrified of the flight but I am soooo excited to see all ya'll!!!!
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