24 hours Rock Star-style

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a Rock Star? Well, I can tell you. Because I know. Because I lived it. Sure, it was only for 24 hours and I didn't have to deal with paparazzi or screaming fans and I didn't accept any awards or perform any awesome shows or do copious amounts of drugs or sleep with any random strangers or anything like that, but still.

This past week, Dr. J and I left beautiful Manhattan for Sunny California. We were invited to the Aesthera Annual Awards Dinner in downtown San Diego as "Guest Speakers". Pretty freaking snazzy, huh? Well, at least for me. Dr. J is used to that kind of thing. Anyway. At 7 a.m. sharp we hopped into a sleek black town car and drove to JFK. We flew Jet Blue (Yay Direct TV for five hours straight!) to San Diego and aside from the plane taking off over an hour late, the trip was easy and uneventful.

We were met at the airport by a chauffeur holding a sign for us, escorted to another sleek black town car, and driven to this GOR-GE-OUS five-star hotel in downtown San Diego. I felt totally famous. I mean, except for when the chauffeur slammed the car door on my legs (twice) so he could help Dr. J get out of the car and except for when he made me carry my own bag even though he totally could've carried mine and Dr. J's at the same time but apparently he just didn't feel like it, and except for when he shut the trunk after putting Dr. J's bag in and I had to ask him to open the trunk so I could put my bag in and rather than opening the trunk for me and taking my bag like it's his JOB to do, he just popped the trunk and made me do it myself, except for all that I felt totally pampered. When all that happened, I felt more like the assistant-to-a-Rock Star rather than an actual Rock Star, but still.

Once we got to the hotel, after we waited for forty-five minutes to get our room key, I totally felt like a Rock Star some more. I mean, this place was insane. Doormen, cabana boys, velvet wallpaper, antique furniture, marble floors, absolutely beautiful. Our room had this unbelievably lush carpeting, gorgeous bathrobes waiting for us, a coffee maker (ok, even the Hilton has a coffee maker, but still), a HUGE flat screen TV, a Dream Machine (seriously), an enormous marble shower, down comforters, down pillows, feather mattresses..... I've always thought that MY bed was the most comfortable bed in the world, until I took a nap in the bed at this hotel. Holy. Crap. It suddenly became VERY clear to me why some people would choose to spend upwards of $500 a night on a hotel room.

So here I am, my first time in such a posh hotel room, feeling like the Biggest Rock Star of All Time and what do you think I did? I pilfered the place. You can take the girl out of The Valley, but you can't take The Valley out of the girl. Travel size shampoo, lotion, mouth wash, sugar packets, coffee pods.... nothing was safe from my little fingers. Anything small enough to pocket landed in my suitcase before I even tested out the softness of the mattress. And of course, a couple of hours later when Dr. J wanted to make some coffee, I had to fess up and sheepishly hand her a coffee pod. Only slightly embarrassing. Five minutes after that she says, "I can't believe they didn't give us sugar and creamer!" Sigh. Out they came from my bag, to her utter amusement. Luckily.

Anyway, after we dropped our bags at the hotel, after I'd pilfered the goodies but before I'd had to fess up to it, Dr. J and I headed down the street to this little sushi place where we GORGED ourselves on fresh sashimi and cocktails.... for free. Well, not for free, but we didn't have to pay for it, so basically for free. Because we were like totally Rock Stars. After that, we took delicious naps in our comfy 5 star beds and after that, we primped and after THAT we were GUESTS OF FREAKING HONOR at this awards dinner. We got applauded and thanked and PAID and everything. Totally hot, right? I know. The dinner was an unbelievable four course gourmet spread involving teensy beautifully arranged servings of lobster and steak (poor little lobsties and cowsies) and cappuccino cakes and lots of free wine. And all night people came up to us gushing about how freaking awesome we are. I know. You're jealous. It's cool. I would be too.

So with full happy bellies, after a mere nine hours in San Diego, we packed our little carry-on's and said good-bye to our luscious hotel room and hopped into our third sleek black town car of the day and headed back to the airport where Dr. J treated us to upgrades so we could take our red-eye in style. Oh yes. You read that right. This little Valley Girl flew first class. I slept through the whole thing, but still. It was beautiful. Except for the turbulence which woke me up several times and had me praying for my life and except for having to change planes in D.C. and except for having to ride with the common man in economy class from D.C. to NYC. Other than that, it was beautiful.

So, yeah. Pretty much, if (and I'm saying "IF", people) all it took to be a Rock Star was to spend a lot of time on a plane in a 24 hour period and nap in a posh hotel and eat a lot of expensive food, then I would be a completely real Rock Star by now. Because I did that. Me. Well, me and Dr. J, but still.

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Don't you wanna know WHY we were asked to speak at the Aesthera Awards Dinner??? Because Dr. J is an awesome doctor who uses the Aesthera laser and I am one of her patients who went from being a nasty-ass pizza face, to having gorgeous, flawless skin in a matter of months! I stood up in front of a hundred business men and women in evening wear and talked about the trials and pain of being an adult (in name only) who suffers from acne. I even cried, you guys. I cried. It was perfect. The audience ATE IT UP. I gots me some serious stage presence, fo sho.