H1N1, The Sequel

The funny thing is that I started this post last week just after I'd gotten over a stomach bug that had me hugging the toilet after every meal for seven days straight. But then I ended up writing this instead. And maybe I'm psychic or maybe it's because I mentioned it on my blog - could I actually will myself ill by naming a post after the swine flu? - but lordy lordy I haven't been this sick in ages. I mean, my throat is killing me. And my ears hurt and my head hurts and my joints ache and all I want is for Michael to fix me tea and pet my head and watch Meet Me in St. Louis with me. But he's busy trying to finish up a very special Christmas present he's making for his brother and so I'm left to whimper quietly on my own.

Speaking of Christmas, Crazy Aunt Purl just likened December to -- hold on, let me just quote her directly:

December is a weird month anyway, it's like one of those trick clocks that you wind up and it starts to go faster and faster until the hands are racing around the face of the clock, speeding up each day like a cartoon of anxiety until it pops all it springs and flops over dead.

Just as I was oblivious to the anniversary of when Valentine grabbed ahold of our hearts and made us take her home, I've been pretty oblivious to the Christmas spirit. It's not intentional, it's just that time has developed this relatively irritating habit of flying by so fast that I can barely keep up. Wasn't Halloween just last week? And Thanksgiving, that's still a few weeks away, isn't it? No? I'm not ready to get into the holiday spirit because I can't wrap my head around the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away.

Every year I swear that THIS will be the year wherein I am finally on top of my game. THIS will be the year that I have all my shopping done by October, I will have all my gifts and cards sent out by December 1st, I will spend my evenings baking pies and decorating cookies and I will enjoy a holiday season that is relaxing and lovely and perfectly joyful. And every year ends up being exhausting, frustrating and anxiety-laden.

It's December 13th and not only am I not done with my shopping, which guarantees that I will not get any of my gifts mailed out in time, but I just received an email that the holiday cards I ordered TWO WEEKS AGO have been delayed AGAIN and probably won't arrive for AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK.

Merry F-ing Christmas.

You know what? I'm feeling pretty grinchy after all.

This will be our third Christmas in New York, the third year in a row we've chosen not to chance holiday travel but instead to have a cozy little Christmas in the city. The first Christmas here was very hard. We didn't have the money or the space for a Christmas tree and I was so homesick I spent nearly the entire day in tears. Our second New York Christmas started out with my love and I fighting over whether or not a tree and decorations were wasteful and materialistic or necessary ingredients for a happy Christmas. Then when Mike surprised me with a beautiful little tree and spent a day helping me make decorations he ultimately taught me that it's not the stuff that matters: What matters is the feeling in your heart.

I went there.

This year I'm not very homesick at all. A little bit, sure. But my parents are coming to spend a few days with us and since last year was so lovely, I'm actually looking forward to our very own little Christmas. I even went ahead and suggested we substitute a tree for a lovely poinsettia, and Mike was so thrilled he brought one home that very day.

A few nights later we bought some eggnog, brought out our Christmas mugs, and spent the evening hanging lights around the apartment. It looks a little like a college dorm now, but I don't mind.

Then we decided to have a little fun:

Ta da! Christmas tomato plant!

Who needs a whole tree when you've got an enormous tomato plant? This, by the way, is the same tomato plant that was given to us at the beginning of the summer. She's grown, no?

And then there's Gavin:

Gavin Elfkin

Gavin left West Hollywood last year to try to make it on the New York Christmas Elf scene. He booked a job immediately, as the Frosty Family Elf.

Grinchy, distracted, busy and oblivious, the Christmas spirit has a way of creeping in and taking over, much like H1N1, which hopefully is not what I have.

I hope you enjoyed this very un-merry post. I'm going to go back to bed so I can hide under the covers until January. Until then, drink lots of fluids, don't go outside with wet hair and be sure to get plenty of rest!