Homeless Lady Feet
This photo has attracted 4,312 views on Flickr since I posted it in June of 2007. A whopping 33% of that traffic came from search engines. Apparently there are people in the world doing google searches for "homeless lady feet". I've lost track of how many Flickr users I've blocked because they leave comments like, "I'd love to lick your toes" or "I want to stroke your feet with my penis" or "I'd like to put those dirty little toes in my anus." Is that supposed to be flattering? Because it isn't. Just saying.
The above photo is also the reason why I had to write this warning on my Flickr profile last year. Despite my profile warning, the Crazies insist on commenting on that photo and then adding me as their friends on Flickr. I know they're Crazies because when I check out their profiles to see who is adding me, all of their photos are x-rated. Not normal, run-of-the-mill x-rated. No, no. That would be creepy enough. These photos? The photos the crazies post? These photos are x-rated photos involving food products and squid tentacles and kitchen appliances and poop.
At first I thought it was funny. I would click on the profiles and look at the photos and laugh and then block them. (Hey, FAIR WARNING. You didn't read my profile? You didn't know I'd block you? SUCK IT.) I don't think it's funny anymore. Now it just gives me the creeps.
Today, I removed the photo. I'm taking my power back, Flickr Crazies! I will no longer be fodder for your twisted imaginings! I will no longer allow my pretty feet to be exploited, lusted after, or defiled because at some point in your toddler-hood you found comfort in the mess in your diapers or because your mother punished you by walking on your back in spike heels. No! No. I resolve, here and now, to never post a photo of my feet on Flickr ever again. I've learned my lesson.
(Although possibly not well enough to prevent me from posting the photo on my blog. Does this mean I'll start getting more traffic to this site? Because I think I could use it.)
4 comments:
Your dirty little bejeweled feet are much too smooth and unwrinkled, much too dainty and unscathed to pass for Homeless Lady Feet, and not nearly filthy enough.
It it weren't for the crazies I wouldn't know I wasn't one...
Congratulations, this post is now the #2 Google result for "Homeless Lady Feet".
Tara - Awwwww! Thanks!
People - I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
Hawk - Are you sure?
-J. - That's my husband on your right shoulder.
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