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Dear Internet Friends:
I am always late. I am embarrassed to admit it, though if you've ever had occasion to spend time with me, you already know that I am one of those people who is ALWAYS late. My norm is about fifteen minutes, but on a bad day I can be anywhere from twenty to thirty minutes late. A really good day has me arriving only five minutes late, which as far as I am concerned is absolutely the same thing as being on time. I have friends who routinely lie to me, telling me something starts at six if it really starts at six-thirty, just so that I will be on time. It works. I have other friends who just plan ahead and arrive fifteen minutes later than we agreed, so that they aren't waiting around for me. That works too.
Though I may be someone who is religiously late, I cannot stand other late comers. It drives me crazy. I think it's rude and disrespectful and irritating. Clearly, I am a chronically late hypocrite. Why? I don't know. What I do know is that being late everywhere gives me such anxiety that I end up with stomach pains and headaches and itchy rashes. But does that make me more understanding of others who are habitually late? Nope. Does that make me a big fat asshole? I suppose so.
But it gets worse.
Not only am I chronically late, and not only do I find other late people irritating, but I also do not like those people who are always three minutes early. Or always on time. Because I am always late, if you show up three minutes early or right on time, you are simply highlighting my deficiency and reminding me of my shortcomings.
So here we have it, folks. I take four hours to get ready in the morning. I'm always at least fifteen minutes late. I am a hypocrite who resents other latecomers and I cannot be made happy by those people who have the courtesy to be on time.
What to do?
6 comments:
Set your watch and all your clocks fifteen minutes fast...
When I was a scout leader we had the same problem, if we wanted to be on the road at 8:00 we told people we were leaving at 6:30 so we could leave by 9:00... :)
Hehehe. I am one of your friends who is always on time or 3 minutes early :) I wish I had advice for you here. The boyfriend is one of those who is chronically late, and it just drives me batty. Perhaps one day I will have some words of wisdom for you both. Until then, I love you both the way you are!!!!
Here is my take: It's a Youth thing. When we are younger, we are mostly thinking of ourselves. There's nothing wrong w/ that - it is part of growing up (I'm still growing up at almost 68, by the way); as we are older, we begin to consider others more, realizing that it really isn't 'all about us.' When I was about 40, I read somewhere that chronically late people (consciously or not) consider themselves (and their stuff) more important than those they keep waiting. That caused me to make a conscious change. Since, I direct my effort toward timeliness. Good luck with that!
What's with the bird thing?
Ok, so I had this problem for a while, too. Particularly in high school, but that doesn't really count, I don't think.
Here is what I have found to be the most effective solution, and it kind of goes along with Hawk's suggestion:
Set your clocks ahead. HOWEVER, do not set them by a distinct amount (ie: 15 minutes), because then your brain will remember that the clock is 15 minutes ahead and you will still be late. Because you will know in your head (and in your heart) what time it really is. And you will think "Oh, I still have time. Silly clock, trying to trick me!" So here is my trick, and I swear it works...most of the time.
Set your main clock (like your alarm clock) ahead by a kind of random number of minutes. Like 3. Or 7. Or 14. This way, you won't remember how many minutes ahead it is (for me, I always knew it was 5 minutes ahead, but I can never remember if I set it for 3 or 4 or 6 or whatever minutes ahead - especially if I don't really pay attention when I set the clock forward...I just kinda push the minute button a few times without counting).
You can even have Senor Poompy do it for you, so you REALLY have no idea what time it actually is. You just know that it's not quite as late as it looks, but that you better get a move-on anyway.
My car is 1 or 2 minutes fast-ish (I usually program it when NPR tells me what time it is, and it's never quite what my clock says). My microwave is somewhere hovering around correct. The clock in the living room is always about 13-15 minute slow.
The only one of my clocks that is for sure correct is the one on my cell phone, because that shiz is programmed by satellites or something. And it's nice to have one clock that tells me what time it really is.
See? If none of your clocks tell you the correct time, you'll just always hurry up! But you won't be as stressed, because you're not counting down actual minutes that you're late...just a general sense of "oh, um, I should go now".
Is that too long/crazy/confusing? It works for me.
I have read and am told that being "late" is part and parcel of the Hispanic, and/or Persian/Italian/Spainard cultures... I do not know. If you are on time in those cultures it can be considered rude, it is even ruder to take it personally if the other parties are "late".
I do not believe it is a question of feeling that "your stuff is more important" I also do not believe it is always meant as an affront to others.
I believe that in some situations the habit is selfish, and/or meant to "send a message" but there are also personality issues tied up into the "late" thing... I know that when the boys were small it was more important that they go potty then that we be on time, and it was more important to get them well napped so that they would then be well-behaved rather than be "right on time" to that next holiday gathering... Now, I run late, and I can be incredibly timely to the point of early by 1/2 hours... it depends on my day, my level of stress about the event, the more stressed the more likely I will run late, and whether or not the person or persons i am connecting with run late themselves, or are "oh, so timely"... i.e. Lori runs late, Suzy most emphatically does not.
As you figure all this stuff out know this, you are already miles ahead of those who come before, and as such you are already far less of an a$$ hole... hugs - phooev
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