I'm really tired, you guys. I'm really really really tired. All of the time. No, Mom, don't worry, I'm not pregnant. That's not even an option on the scan-tron.
It's kind of an adjustment to go from working eleven hours a week to a gagillion hours a week. I don't mean to exaggerate here, but it really feels like I work a gagillion hours a week. And as a result, I don't get to do anything BUT work.
I mean, there are other hours in the day, sure. But after my 8 hour day, I reeeally don't have the energy to do anything other than slosh onto the couch and sit there drooling until about 10 p.m. when it's time for bed.
This is horrible.
I am not complaining. It sounds like complaint, but actually it's sharing. I'm sharing. Things would be just fine if I could just be awake enough in the evening to do something other than watch TV. That's the thing. I'm just so tired. I could be happy if I weren't a vegetable at the end of every day. Maybe if I worked only five days a week instead of six, maybe if I could spend two days in a row recharging my little Ish Battery I could plow forth on Monday morning and be a super-star of productivity. But that hasn't been the deal lately. And there are just SO MANY THINGS I love, that I am ignoring.
Let's make a list, shall we? In no particular order:
1. Yoga/Exercise
2. Photography
3. Writing
4. Doing Married Things With My Husband (Because We Are Married And It's Allowed) (Side note: Have you ever noticed that on Trojan condom ads, the couple is ALWAYS wearing wedding bands? Simple, barely-noticeable gold wedding bands. Very interesting, no?)
5. Playing With My Dogs
6. Spending Time With Friends
7. Laundry
8. Balancing my checkbook
9. Data Entry
10. BEING AN ACTOR
Sad face, Dopey!
And look. How weird has my writing gotten since I stopped? It's all jiggedly-glop all over the screen. It's not even writing. It's just words piled upon words piled upon words that barely make any sense at all. Is this even cohesive? Does anyone understand me? HOW DO I FIND BALANCE IN THIS ONE LIFE OF MINE?
That is the question for the day.
6 comments:
Wait, why am I sad face? Or are you sad face and saying it specifically to me? Am I being too much of a blond for you? I know how you feel for sure. I know it feels like it, but IT WON'T BE FOREVER. For some reason that always makes me breathe a little easier.
Call you in a bit :) Love you long time.
It's just what I say now whenever I feel blue.
SAD FACE DOPEY.
Cheer up, Frostyliciousawesomepantsfacemggee. You're great.
I know how you feel about the whining and the couch potatoing and all of that, and let's just call it a rut and move on. Well, ok, we can whine a while longer. But realize that it's not forever (though don't get me started on the "omg we are going to go to work for the rest of our lives pretty much" revelation I had a few weeks ago).
You're in a little rut, and you'll get out of it when the time is right. Sometimes you just have to sulk for a little bit until it passes. And that is totally ok. I believe in you!
It makes sense to me...
I don't know if that should scare you or not.
One step at a time, kiddo.
Balance is something we will be working at achieving our entire lives. Just when you think you're on the "right" path, some thing will come along, even babies do this to us and knock us for the unexpected loop, then we work back to that "balance" only to have it happen again... You'll be ok, because you've got beings in your life, like Theo ;) who'll help you keep your perspective. ~ your sister misses you, too! but it's nice to get the wee bitsy glimpes into your beautifully creative brain. ~ calkin
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