Warning: It's bloody.

This is what they mean when they say, "Heavenly Skies"

And then there is this:

Honestly? Five minutes before this photo was taken I was near tears whimpering, "I have blood on my hands, I have blood on my hands, OH MY GOD I HAVE BLOOD ON MY HANDS."

This is why I bake instead of cook, 99% of the time. Baking rarely involves blood.

I would just like to apologize right now, for any vegetarian or vegan who enjoys reading this blog. I hope the above photo is not offensive. Also? "Vegan" is not a word, according to my spellcheck. And, in case you were wondering, when using the T9 function on my cellphone, I cannot spell out the words "shit", "asshole", "douchebag" or "vagina". I can, however, spell "bitch" "poop" and "fuckers".

But for reals now, Mike is responsible for this photo of me chopping up raw liver for the dogs. We have successfully switched the mutts to Orijen dog food (which, please check it out, it is for sure the best dry dog food on the market, I am not kidding. Nor I am getting paid to say that.) and now we are attempting to add raw foods into their diet. Because they are carnivores and raw is best. And to the guy who lectured me for twenty minutes today about how dogs die because they are not vegan (I do not exaggerate here): DOGS ARE CARNIVORES. SOD OFF. (I feel British, all of a sudden.)

It's not going well. The adding of raw foods into their diet. Theo loves it, but today he had the runs. Valentine, Bitch Who Eats Cigarette Butts And Wood Chips, Chihuahua Who Joyfully Noshes Homeless Man Poo, Satan's Hell Hound Of All Hell Hounds, Valentine won't have anything to do with it.

If this is even a percentage of what a parent must feel when they are dealing with a teenager, I am going to just have my tubes tied now.

7/14/09